School Visit

V and I caught a ride with another expat (that has a car) to the alternative school Friday. We were showed around and hung out all day then met with the director after school. It is Montessori based. The kids sign up for activities each day and the ages are mixed together, teachers volunteer on different days. There are some regular classes (math, grammar) during the week, but much of the time it is self directed. It is also much smaller, around 30 kids. There is a large school ground and the kids build slides and clubhouses and maintain gardens. I think T and M would do very well there, essentially take the pressure off so we can homeschool with the Calvert school curriculum in the afternoons. The director was a bit ambiguous during our meeting. He discussed his theories of personality development and that he did not want to accept new kids to the school, but that T and M speaking English was a plus because they could help teach the other kids English. We gave more background on T, that he was accepted to a Montessori school in the US but it was too expensive for us so he couldn't go and that we homeschooled until both of us had to work full time and had no other choice but to send him to public school. V put together a folder of pictures of T working on various modeling projects, acting in plays (that he helped write) and a working electric motor that he built completely on his own after seeing me put one together, as well as some pictures of M. The director said he wanted us to think about it over the weekend then call back on Monday (today) to see if we were still interested in pursuing it, so we did. The next step is the school is sending someone to observe T and M at the public school on Wednesday, then they will make their final, final decision. In the meantime we are drafting a letter to fax to the school to state our case to the committee.

Over the weekend we went to Eutin and walked around the town for fun, and got some winter clothes for the kids. I also took the kids buckeye hunting. M brought a bag to carry them in. I explained that they were supposed to be good luck and one of my grandmothers carried one in her purse. We got "lost" on the way back and used the buckeyes to find our way (tossing them on the ground and seeing which way they went). We met a british couple that were cleaning their yard at a second home they keep here. They seemed pleased to speak to someone in English and gave us some walnuts to carry back. The buckeyes "found" the way back to our apartment, proving to the kids that they were indeed very lucky. M picked out some to give to people as gifts.

Absebtee Ballot

I filled out and sent off my absentee ballot application yesterday. I found this website (http://www.fvap.gov/) that has useful information for what to fill out and where to send it. I can't miss this election; the last thing the US needs is another war (this time with Iran) if McCain gets elected.

Also, there is more news about the school appeal. The superintendent (who speaks English) called me at my work number last week to tell us the result of our appeal. This was the first time we had talked directly to them (before it had all been via a translator that did not know the full details to answer their questions) so before he could say anything I gave a fast sell with T and explained that we had home schooled him before, that he does very well with his own self directed projects, is not happy in a traditional classroom situation, and so on. He said that they didn't realize this when they made their decision before (of course, how could they without talking to us) and then said that he wants V and I to visit the school all of the school day next Friday (tomorrow) and then come and observe T in his class (without him knowing they are observing him/saying they are looking at the entire class) at some point before making another final decision. So, we will see what happens.

The school saga continues

We checked with an alternative school for T today, which we contacted last week, and have officially been turned down. In many ways it sounds ideal for T but it would create a transportation problem because it is out of town and we don't have a car, so maybe it is a good thing in disguise. We have appealed and should hear back tomorrow, but I don't expect them to change their minds at this point. If the appeal is rejected tomorrow we will switch to plan B, another school that is here in town, but has a very similar curriculum to the school he is currently in. However, we are told that there are more immigrant children at this school and that they are more geared towards teaching kids German language, at the worst it will at least get him away from his current teacher.

Six Months

We've now lived abroad as a family for six months. The longest any of us has been outside of the US. Overall all is going well. The biggest problem, obviously, is T's school situation, but we are working on possible fixes for that.

Last weekend we went to Kiel on Saturday for some shopping. M needed some special shoes for school so we picked those up. Then the kids played in a playground for a couple hours and T dug a hole in the sand deep enough to completely hide in. On Sunday T was sick and slept in. V and M went to Eutin to something like a Renaissance festival, people rode around on horses and dressed up in 300 year old styles. Then Monday it was M's turn to be sick. Hopefully it has cleared up by now and both the kids will be back to school tomorrow.

Follow up post regarding T's school

I want to clearly state some things "for the record" in a followup to the last post so there aren't any misunderstandings.

Almost everything related to moving here and living in Germany has been very positive thus far. The biggest and almost only problem has been T's school situation. There are some very negative stereotypes about Germans and Germany in the US and we are pleased to experience first hand that most of this is unwarranted. Germany is a beautiful country and there are many nice and helpful people here that we have met. The main negative cultural points that we are seeing are almost entirely related to T's school situation. There is a pervasive arrogance here that the official German way is the only right way and everyone else is wrong (not being able to see things from other points of view) and that German society seems to be set up to be very bad in dealing with individual needs (you're expected to fall in line with the group, nothing else is considered). Of course these are obviously things that do not work well with immigrant families from different cultures. These things are not unique in any way to Germany but there does seem to be "an edge" here in this direction.

Also, I can see how from my last post it might appear that I am being "the ugly American". I do not expect the school to learn English and use English only for T's sake and our convenience. I understand that this is Germany and we have to do our best to work with the German system and learn and use the German language. In fact I am amazed that so many Germans speak English so well; coming from America I was completely unprepared for how much English is spoken in the rest of the world. Believe me we have tried and are still trying to learn and use German. What I do take issue with is the schools refusal to teach T German, when it is clearly in all of our best interest. His teacher told us in a meeting last year (the same teacher both years) that she has 20 other students to teach and will not spend any extra time with T, so as far as we can understand he sits in a corner all day at school and has no idea of what is going on around him. She seems obsessed with making him learn the German style of cursive handwriting (that all the other kids already know), so this is what she has him work on over and over while she teaches the rest of the class--as far as we can tell. He is at school to learn, but he can't learn if there is no communication, either in German or otherwise. He does have a teacher this year, apart from his regular teacher, that teaches him math. This teacher doesn't speak English but T likes him. He works with T and shows him how to do math problems in a way T can understand. A little effort on an individual level are all that is needed for T to learn, but despite my best efforts his primary teacher does not seem to get this and is just letting him "do his time" until she can pass him off onto someone else.

A complete waste of time

Today V and I met with T's teacher, the school principle, another teacher as a translator and T's tutor. Let me back up...

Last Thursday we contacted another school, which has more immigrant children and a larger program to teach German to non-German-speaking kids. We asked if we could bring T for a visit and see what he thought of the place. They told us they needed permission from T's current school first, so we called them and AM, who was translating for us on the phone, got yelled at for a long time by the principle, denied the visit, said it was illegal, ... so we arranged a meeting for today to discuss. At the meeting before they could start talking I said the most important thing was for T to learn and in order to do that he needed to communicate. They seemed to nod agreement to this but it went downhill from there. Most of all it turned into a blame fest, they blamed us in various ways of not being good parents because T hadn't learned enough German yet, that this was entirely our fault, despite hiring a tutor, taking him to German school in the states and so on. We brought up that even German high school students that we arranged to help T with his homework, did not always understand the homework instructions. then the teacher illustrated to us how she tells him to do things, she slams her hand down on the desk and yells, she did this a couple of times in front of us (the example she used was to teach him cursive handwriting). I was amazed but the other people from the school there were unphased. We told them that he doesn't react well to that and that it was exactly the wrong way to get him to pay attention and participate, he will just withdraw further. --we can blame them and they can blame us but in the end it doesn't help T at all, isn't that why we're there? Then we restated that all we wanted was permission to visit the other school. They said of course we could but that it was a bad idea, T "shouldn't have a decision in this" because he would see it as a better place and want to go there because he had already had a bad time at their school--I kid you not. To cut a long story short they demonstrated they did not care at all about T learning but only that they wanted control over him, to keep him at their school. Why, I have no idea. If he is happier at the other school and learns there then that is what is important, but not to them. Then they listed examples of other kids from other countries that learned German in four months at their school; a) what does this have to do with T, b) T hasn't even been in school in Germany for four months, they moved him to a lower grade in only weeks and expect miracles over summer break, c) why should I believe them after all the other things they've said. Next we used the example of his last homework, there was a book he was supposed to copy a poem from, but he didn't have the book. His teacher smiled as if she could use this point against us and said yes, all the other kids took their books but his is still on the window shelf in the classroom. I asked if she told him it was his book, she said she told all of the kids, then I asked if she told him in English. She said she uses only German with him, but (saying this infront of the principle) that she will start to use English. My point seemed to be lost on them. If he doesn't understand German, then how is he supposed to know to take the book home for his homework. Then towards the end I asked the teacher if she could understand T when he speaks English (her English is very bad) she said no because he speaks in a dialect--which makes no sense to us. I pointed out again that this results in no communication, so how is he supposed to learn, but they seemed more interested in what small rural town we were from in order to verify their "dialect" excuse. They grinned to each other as they awaited the answer but V smartly said "New York". (Explanation, to many Americans New Yorkers do have a funny, sometimes hard to understand accent, but to many here in Europe it is seen as the ultimate cosmopolitan city and there seems to be a strong bias here in that direction as far as dialects and speaking.)

So that's it. Instead of expecting any help from them we're now focused on how to get him out of that class/school. Homeschooling is illegal in Germany so that is not an option. We even inquired with the education ministry and received a letter denying a waiver so we could homeschool. There are two other schools in the area that we will pursue transferring to next.

Back to School

The kids are back in the German school system this week. T started on Monday. He has been upbeat about school overall despite the usual frustrations from last year. His teacher moved up a grade with his class so he has the same teacher again this year... We have hired a German language tutor to work with him after school (who actually started a few weeks ago) and we are trying a lesson a day with Rosettastone to increase his and our German ability.

M's first day, of first grade, was today. It was a huge deal. Here kindergarten is separate from the public schools so this is seen as the kids first day of school. It started with a special church ceremony in town (the church is integrated more into the government here). All the new first graders sat together.

We got M a special present for her to carry around on her first day, a "schule tute". It is a giant cone filled with school supplies and candy and toys. At first I thought it was too large and was embarrassed for her to carry it around, too ostentatious, but it was right in league with the tutes the other kids had, about 2/3s their body length and in garish colors.

Apparently they lug them around the school all day, with their backpacks, and are not allowed to open them until they get home. After church we walked to the school and her old kindergarten class handed out roses to the kids, giving her something else to carry.

Then we saw T waving from behind the bars to the playground to us as the kids watched the newcomers file into the gym.

In the gym there were some songs and skits from the older kids, including T's class.

Then they called out the new kids names by class and they went up onto the stage with their new class. M did fine throughout all of this and was very excited (she has been for days).

I ducked out at that point but T's teacher cut me off at the door. She spoke to me in very fast German. Eventually I got her to use some English and slow down. Apparently she is upset T doesn't speak more German at this point (which is strange because she has told us she won't teach him German and that we must--hmmm, we're English speakers and she's a German speaker, and her job is as T's teacher, how does this make any sense?). We decided to have a meeting later.